By Leila E., 28 years old, second-generation member of the Family International.

I think every parent, when they have their first child, looks back on the way they were raised, and they make decisions regarding how they will apply what they’ve gone through in their own life to how they will raise their child. You look at the happy times, the fun times, you look at the experiences you remember as pleasant, even the things that weren’t so fun, but were necessary in making you who you are today, and you want to bring those things to life in your own child. You also look at the things that hurt you, things you disliked and you swear you’ll never let those things happen to your child.

In the Family today, I would venture to say that close to 80% of the children are third generation children. They are our children, those of us who were raised in the Family, and who were the “victims” of a lot of what the Family has been accused of for the last 20 or 30 years. What I’d like to know is why our detractors are still harping on the same issues, when we’ve all grown up. We’re adults now, and so, no, we don’t need to be rescued. We have children now, and we intend on raising those children as best as we possibly can. Read the rest of this entry »

By Benjamin Van Nynatten –Rio, Brazil

This will be brief, I promise. I wouldn’t subject anyone to my writing if there was any other way around it, but extreme circumstances require extreme measures so please bear with me, just a little, while I attempt to express my thoughts on this issue.

I will not try to impress you with my style or choice of words, as that would just not be possible even if I sat here all night. Actually, the reason I am writing this is because after reading over the many postings on this site, I can’t wait to get my name on the list as well. If someone is throwing mud at you, well, I want some thrown at me too! If we’re being slandered and lied about, they can’t forget me! And I heard something about a tidal wave that’s coming for us, well hey, I brought my swim trunks just in case. Whatever it is, I’m having a part in it! I’m here to stand by each of you to the end, I’m proud to be counted in the company of the elite.

My name is Benjamin Van Nynatten, and I am 29 years old. I guess this means I was raised at about exactly the same time and, I suppose, in similar surroundings and the environment some claim was abusive and detrimental. It’s been said a thousand times and I want it on my record that personally I was never abused or mistreated in any way during all my years in the Family– my whole life, really. Not only that, but I can say with conviction that I never saw anyone else suffer any sort of maltreatment in all the communities I’ve lived in. Read the rest of this entry »

I am now 28 years old and have had well over 15 years to mill over the grievances that were caused during my life before then, whether by members in “The Family” or not. However I was able to put them all into crisp perspective when I spent over two years with my wife and child, living a life without any one from “The Family” in a radius of 1500 miles. Leading a life that to most would be considered “normal” and many in other parts of the world consider Luxury.

However as I rose to take the company vehicle to work each day, I would receive a list of clients who I was to be in contact with that day, and after two years of talking with well over 4000 “successful” people, from ages 25-60, from many races. It came clear that most people my age had many additional things to fear and look out for (especially if they had children) that I or my parents did not have to contend with in “The Family”.

They also cleared up the fact that, issues that I and any one has or had with the way they were treated in “The Family” was in no way unique. Instead there were many worse angles, which I and hundreds of peers I knew raised in “The Family” were shielded from.
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From Mercy Langille, 26, Bangalore, India

“Yea, all that live Godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution” That is the verse that came to me when I first heard about the slander that is being thrown at The Family. (we must be doing something right, or no one would be saying anything)

I am a second generation adult who was raised in The Family. I have been through a lot, I’ve seen a lot. I’ve experienced things people my age can only dream of. I am 26 years old and have lived in 8 different countries. Aside from bring a fulltime missionary (which I know I am called to be), I have chosen as my profession to be a teacher. I’ve worked with children of all ages, from babies to 12 year olds. I’ve studied Family child training techniques and I use them daily with the children that I teach. If there is anything I know, it’s how children are raised in The Family. I see it every day! Are they abused? Not from what I have ever seen. These children are loved and cared for in every way.

Was I abused as a child raised in The Family? Certainly not! I was raised in a very loving environment. Though for several years my mom was single and had to raise 4 of us on her own, we never lacked for anything. We always had good food, warm clothes, comfortable beds, and she saw to it that we were educated properly. I’ve never attended public school a day in my life, yet I completed high school plus 3 college courses. I could read at the age of 2 and this started me on a lifelong love for books and I taught myself a lot that way. Read the rest of this entry »

My name is Maria Doehler, I am 27 years old, and very happily married to a unique and totally incoercible man. We have 2 kids and are expecting our third in July.

We are here in the Family because we are fully convinced that it is the place where both we and our children will be the happiest and have the best chance at a full and happy life.

My kids are my biggest concern and probably the greatest motivation I have. I love the Family and know so many amazing people within its fellowship, but if I felt that remaining in the Family would endanger our children I would be out of here so fast!

I have a question for Daniel and the rest of our second generation apostates, are you parents? Do you really understand the love of a parent? When our kids were born it’s hard to describe the fierce love I felt for them, and I know Sam (my husband) felt it too. We would do anything we could to help them be happy and successful in life. We are not perfect, nor will you be when you become a parent, but we sure are trying. Read the rest of this entry »

(From Nadia Paone, 30, second-generation member of the Family International)

My first reaction to realizing that the old abuse issue was what would come out of the sad and tragic event of last week was “God, not again.” I felt tired. We’ve been through this issue from every angle and our detractors and accusers have always ended up with egg on their faces when the results of all their “reports of rampant abuse in the Family” and stirring up authorities to take action, turn up test result after test result, time and time again, proving that each of these supposed “abused children” is actually healthy, loved, abuse-free, well adjusted and educated. And yet, because child abuse is something that turns any feeling human being’s stomach, it’s juicy and something that will get attention. Read the rest of this entry »

From Pandita Gil, 27, mother of three.

I was born into this wonderful missionary group of believers, known as “The Family International.” I wanted to address this to those of you who may know little or nothing about our missionary group (since my friends don’t need an explanation and our enemies don’t want to believe it anyway).

My name is Pandita Gil, though in the Family I’ve been Sharon since I was 14, which was when I made the decision to apply myself to my missionary training. When I was 17 I told myself that no matter what, I wanted to dedicate my life to serving the Lord full time. I’m now 27 years old and I don’t regret having made that choice in life. By the way, I have three beautiful and priceless possessions here on Earth, and those are my children. God’s entrusted them into our care, and we ensure that they grow up in a substantial and spiritually healthy environment. They are smart, cute, loving and active kids. I love them dearly and I pray that I can continue to give them a godly heritage and upbringing in this wonderful Family.
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From Amie O., 26, second-generation member of the Family International.

My name is Amie, I’m 26 years old, and I just wanted to say a few words about the recent Ricky and Angela murder/suicide “nightmare.”

It’s unbelievable! I knew both Ricky and Angela, so it’s pretty close to home. Ricky was always a very nice guy, and I liked him a lot. I lived in the same Home with him and his wife—and Ricky’s mother—for over two years, between June 1997 and early 2000. He was a nice, kind, friendly guy. But sometime after he left and apparently got into contact with a small group of people who seem to have a vendetta against The Family, he started speaking against his mother and against the Family, and getting into violence and all kinds of horrible things.

Here is an excerpt of a note that I sent to Ricky’s mother in 2002, after Ricky had started threatening to kill her and “take down” The Family:
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My name is Gisela Leda Barbosa (Gigi), I am 32 years old. I know the Family for 8 years. I am in the Family for 5 years of my life – which are truly the best ones ever! I am Brazilian. I am very happy that the Family is preaching the gospel in every continent – that’s why I was reached at the first place. The Family is fully obeying Jesus’ commandment to go into all the World and preach the gospel to every creature.

I used to be a lawyer. I was born into a wealthy middle-class family, lived in Ipanema – Rio de Janeiro - all my life (one of the most expensive places in Brazil) and had been well “educated” in a system’s” point of view. I went to good colleges and to one of the best universities around (and expensive one also). I had a nice family; I had a nice relationship with them, (& still do). I didn’t join the Family because I was a loser, or because I couldn’t get along well with my parents or because I didn’t have friends. I had all that. I had a good life in the “system’s” eyes. I had a job in a nice lawyer’s office. I was starting, but it was good. But for some reason I wasn’t happy, I felt that something was missing, and then I met the Family.

It changed my life. It took me some time to have the courage to give up my life in the system and join. I joined because I saw something that I didn’t have and I wanted so much. I joined because I saw truth and love in the eyes of those who reached out for me. I joined because I felt Jesus’ love like never before. I joined because that was my calling in life and I had finally discovered that. What a relief! To finally know what was my true calling in life and what would make me happy and fulfilled for the rest of my days! Oh boy! That saved me. When I stop to think about what could have happened to my life if I didn’t have this chance to meet the Family… I don’t know exactly what could have happened but one thing I know for sure, I would be unhappy.
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By Tuchi Spencer

I am a twenty-five-year-old second generation member of The Family International, born and raised as a part of this missionary organization. I knew and lived with Ricky Rodriguez and Angela Smith, both at different times throughout the years of 1999 and 2004.

Angela Smith was a dear friend of mine whom I loved and respected. Her vivaciousness, giving nature, spontaneity, and zestfulness in life lightened even the darkest of days. Her spiritedness and tender ways have left her smile as a permanent feature in my memory. I will always treasure the memory of her. Her death came as a shock, especially to know that it came at the hand of a man I had also called my friend.

It is hard for me to talk about Ricky Rodriguez in light of this recent tragedy, but for the sake of presenting my side of the story, I want it to be known that Ricky was my friend. I lived in the same community with him while he was still a part of The Family International. He had a fun-loving nature, was thoughtful, intriguing, and intelligent. During the time I lived with him, he never once suggested that he was abused—psychologically, emotionally, much less sexually.
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